and the beat goes on.

i went through my bookshelf today. i have various research papers, essays, journal entries, random writings, from high school. all bundle in a folder that i thought i'd never open in a long time. gosh, i used to write well. like every single piece was so deep. so depth. i sounded mature. most of it all was from senior year. i still remember that year. English with Mrs. Brady. i don't wanna sound cheesy but, her class was life changing. she's taught us to much. and i do remember her saying everyday that our class, 5th period, was her fave. i had her class after lunch. and i remember sleeping in her class sometimes because i get that feeling everytime i eat a lot. but i still manage to have awesome papers. i still ask myself how i passed. she not only taught us the skills of writing a college paper, she taught us life changing experiences we would go through in college. she was right 100%. nothing compared to high school. after i was done rumaging through that folder of masterpieces, i text Brit. "man i wish i could write like i used to." i lost my touch foreals.

maybe that's why i got back to blogging? remember those xanga days? lol. i heard it's coming back.

so i'll oftenly compared every blog entry to a song. so today, it is
Older by Colbie Caillat.

i'm big on things that happen through fate. well not really. but close to it. coz lastnight, at the park talking to ateh jamie, we randomly talking about how old we were gonna be. i'm going to be fricken 20 in 6 months. that sounds icky. in most ways yeah i've def grown up. and i'm constantly reminded by it by the old folks of how i've changed.

"why are you still single?"
what are they trying to say here? is it my fault? i don't even know.

i'm not the same 16 year old who partied, picked cheerleading over going to choir prac., and could care less about my grades. i didn't change alone. i had the right people to help me (friends. family) Mostly GOD. i'm thankful i set a high goal. it's 100% HIM.<3

i used to think in black and white. how i let people walk all over me. gossip. how i didn't know where i was going. what i was going to do with my life. the right people to be with. i don't wanna sound emo now, but it's true.

countless prayers. putting my heart into my duties, and everything will fall into place.

my heart's been broken here and there, i find it lucky that i'm still strong because i put faith with works. remember how i sed, i had something heavy going on, and i didn't know what it was? i just told you.

<3 and the beat goes on.